


Free

by Youremyalways



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 6x09 what we take with us, Bellarke, F/M, blake siblings, sanctum - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 15:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19771405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youremyalways/pseuds/Youremyalways
Summary: “She instinctively reached up to her head, sliding her fingertips gently across the back of her neck and wincing as they landed on the new stitches. The wound was clearly fresh and just barely maintained. The stitches were thicker than before and raised off of her skin, almost puckered. It was certainly not a doctor’s job.But who cared. The fact that they were new meant that…“She’s gone.” Clarke stated simply, the waves of relief suddenly shattering over her.”(If the summary or tags don’t sway you, I’ll just say that this includes an abundance of bellarke)





	Free

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhhh so 6x09 was SO good and made me crave more so I had to write! 
> 
> Clarke is back, yay!
> 
> Enjoy this story and spread some love!! xoxo

_ Do babies cry when they’re born because at first it hurts to breathe? _

Clarke remembered sitting with her legs crossed under the desk in the far back corner of her behavioral science class, twirling a pencil lazily between her thumb and pointer finger as she pondered that same question some uncountable number of years ago. It killed her to not only not know, but to have no way of testing it. She traced doodles all over the inside cover of her unused notebook as she went through the variables in her head. It fascinated her, and even more so, frustrated her to the depths of her core that she could never truly know the answer. 

Right now, however, she was sure it was true.

As the oxygen slipped passed her lips and cut a path down the dry circumference of her esophagus, she felt her entire chest erupt in white hot flames. It felt like an inhale had not belonged to her and her alone for weeks, or at least long enough that dust had collected in her lungs and made breathing an almost torturous venture. She had a hard time believing that the gas entering her system was oxygen and not pure smoke or burning acid. 

The pain should’ve forced her to slow her breaths, but instead she found her exhales occurring with increased frequency. Her body couldn’t control the quickening pace, and as more and more air escaped her mouth, she felt the flow become less painful. The initial burning was slowly simmering down, and she felt herself actually gain the power to bring down the brisk repetitive breaths. 

“Clarke?” She heard vaguely, her focus still wrapped around her own breaths like a vice, “Hey, deep breaths.”

Clarke opened her eyes then, jerking her head back against the bed and squinting harshly at the sudden influx of light. Her breaths were more steady now, not normal, but more steady. She blinked several times, trying desperately to grasp onto something that could pull her into reality. Her eyes settled on the face above her. 

_ Octavia.  _

There were long black strands of hair tucked behind her ears and her youthful eyes were big and wide, staring down at Clarke with newfound hope and curiosity. 

“Hey there.” She swallowed, and only then did Clarke see the water brimming on her lower lids. 

“Octavia?” She questioned, her voice dry and soft, “Where am I?” 

There was an achingly familiar yet profoundly new scent surrounding her. It was similar to that of pine, but had a tang to it that Clarke couldn’t quite put her finger on. As she tilted her head to the right, she scanned her eyes over the room. The tan walls and floors scattered with various materials and unnamed items reminded her of the cottage she used to share with Madi back in Eden. Quaint, yet homely. 

“This is Gabriel’s home.” Octavia answered simply, taking Clarke’s hand when she reached for help and pulling her into a sitting position, “Take it easy, okay? You’ve been asleep for a while.” 

“Gabriel…” Clarke started, ignoring Octavia’s concern as her mind raced with a million thoughts and loose threads that could surely connect them all, “We found him?” 

A sigh of relief fell from Clarke’s lips when Octavia nodded.

Clarke let the weight of it settle over her shoulders, the sudden pressure forcing her body to hunch down ever so slightly. If they found Gabriel, and she was still alive, then… 

“Clarke?” 

She immediately turned to look at him, the tears welling in her eyes blurring the perfect view she had of his worried expression. There were marks of concern cut into his face, the dimples she loved replaced with shallow frown marks. The weight of the world was evident on his shoulders, yet he simultaneously appeared completely weightless. 

“Bellamy,” She let out a noise that could only be described as a cry as she threw her legs over the bed and raced up to him with bare feet, throwing her arms around his neck as she whispered, “You’re okay?” 

She brought one of her hands up to cup the back of his head, her fingers weaving their way into his black curls and anchoring her to his body. She closed her eyes as she tried to sync her breaths with his, her entire body melting against him. A whimper escaped her lips when she felt his arms come up and wrap around her lower back, his forearms strong and tight against her flesh. His forehead fell slightly until it was leaning against her shoulder, and Clarke was surprised to feel the way he started shaking.

“You’re asking if  _ I’m _ okay?” He laughed, tightening his grip on her, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but not twelve hours ago you were the one  _ dying _ .” 

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows and pulled back just slightly enough to meet his eyes, her arms still tightly laced around his neck. There were tear stains down both of his cheeks, and the whites of his eyes were tinted pink. 

“It’s just, when I left you,” Her voice cracked as the emotions rose like bile up the back of her throat, “I didn’t know what would happen, if you were hurt, or worse, or…” 

“Hey,” Bellamy pulled his hands up to grab her shoulders, firmly holding the bones and widening his eyes to look deep into her own irises, “I’m okay, and you didn’t leave me. If you hadn’t run then, we would both be dead. You saved us.” 

Clarke didn’t quite see it that way, but there were more pressing things weighing on her mind. 

“And Josephine?” She asked, her eyes still trained on his.

“Detained.” 

The answer came from a different voice. It was not quite as deep as Bellamy’s, but certainly masculine. She turned away from the man in front of her to see who it had come from, grimacing as both her and Bellamy’s hands retreated with the shift and they lost physical contact. She felt naked without his hands on her, and just as she started to grow used to the empty feeling, she felt his palm land on her lower back, his fingers opening like a budding flower across her spine and making goosebumps rise all over her body. She was glad that he still needed that touch to confirm she was alive. It made her feel less alone, and she was thankful for it. She needed it too. 

Clarke leaned backwards into the touch just barely as her eyes landed on a tall, lean man with dark features and a serious expression painted across his face. He stood with the most static and prominent posture she’d ever seen, and it made her heart beat a little faster. 

“Are you…”

“Gabriel?” He asked with a knowing smirk, “Yes.”

He took a small step forward and Clarke swallowed, subconsciously taking a step back. 

“It’s okay, Clarke,” Octavia spoke confidently, moving forward as well with a reassuring nod, “He won’t hurt you. He helped.” 

Clarke watched intently as the man turned his head to Octavia and gave her a subtle nod as if to thank her. Octavia nodded back, a small smile creeping up her lips as they locked gazes for a second. Clarke felt Bellamy’s hand tense on her back, and immediately maneuvered her head to glance up at him. Their eyes met within milliseconds and Clarke could tell just from the little lines between his brows and slight squint of his eyelids that he was just as confused as she was.

_ When did that happen? _

But when the sound of footsteps continued towards her, Clarke turned back towards the man, eyes immediately landing on the fist he was now holding out to her. She watched intently as he slowly flipped it around so his hand was face up and unraveled his fingers, revealing the bloody chip in the center of his palm. 

The gasp that left Clarke’s mouth was one of pure shock and utter disbelief. 

She instinctively reached up to her head, sliding her fingertips gently across the back of her neck and wincing as they landed on the new stitches. The wound was clearly fresh and just barely maintained. The stitches were thicker than before and raised off of her skin, almost puckered. It was certainly not a doctor’s job. 

But who cared. The fact that they were new meant that… 

“She’s gone.” Clarke stated simply, the waves of relief suddenly shattering over her. 

She felt the oxygen being ripped away from her, her chest deflating like a soccer ball was just kicked full force into her gut. Tears started pouring down her cheeks, but not a single noise fell from her mouth. 

“I’m still alive.” Was her next realization, and she whipped around to look at Bellamy as those words fell off of her lips, “How the hell am I alive?!”

She said it with a laugh, the sheer ridiculousness of this whole situation settling over her. It wasn’t funny. It really wasn’t. She almost died, but still… she couldn’t stop the giant smile from spreading across her face.

Grounders and Mountain Men and AIs were one thing, but body snatchers? 

It was absolutely, positively  _ ridiculous. _

She shouldn’t be breathing. Every odd in the world was against her and she’s  _ here _ . Clarke couldn’t even be grateful because all she could think was:  _ What the hell?! _

It was a whole new level of insanity, and for some reason the fact that she had been through all of that and still ended up alive was just… funny.

The smile that flashed across Bellamy’s face was one Clarke had never seen before. It could only be compared to the one he wore when they laughed over the radio calls, or the one painted on his face when he told her she deserved a drink. Even those were barely akin to right now. It reached his eyes, the concerned lines disappearing and being replaced with those little crow's feet and dimples. His teeth were perfectly straight and a shade of white not unlike that of perfect porcelain. 

“That’s what cockroaches do, right?” He shook his head with an elated sigh. 

Clarke just shook her head, brushing off the last of the laughs before turning to Octavia.

“I owe you a thanks,” She was serious now, voice sincere, “All of you.”

“The last thing I remember before the final seizure was you bringing me here. If you didn’t, I would be dead. Same thing if you didn’t remove the chip, so thank you.” Clarke looked from Octavia to Gabriel, eyes shining bright with genuinity. 

“And you,” She turned to Bellamy, eyes watering over, “You never gave up on me, even if I probably deserved it. Thank you.” 

“You would have done the same for me,” Bellamy shrugged easily, “and you  _ never _ have to thank me.”

Clarke nodded with a sad smile, turning away reluctantly to view the other two people in the room. 

“How’d you do it?” 

Gabriel nodded as if he was expecting her question, eyes landing on hers as he explained, “For hundreds of years I’ve been dealing with the primes. I take no pride in the fact that centuries ago I was an expert at chip insertion. The extraction was simply a reversal of what I already knew.” 

“But I thought… the mindspace was destroyed, I was stroking out, how did I not die?” Clarke asked, confusion lacing every syllable.

“Mindspace?” Octavia asked now, the same confusion infused in her voice.

Clarke felt more than saw Bellamy look at her too. 

“Yeah,” She nodded, trying to find the simplest terms, “When I was… when she was me, I was sort of trapped inside my head in a corner of my mind. She called it my mindspace. For me it was my prison cell on the ark, and I guess when I opened the door and left that room, I screwed it up. The wall between us broke.”

She took a deep breath before continuing, “I just don’t get it, I mean, the door was dust. That should’ve been it.” 

Bellamy’s hand pressed harder into her back.

“You’re special, Clarke.” Gabriel started, “The fact that your consciousness was still in Josie’s head when she took over proves that in itself. The others would have died by the time I got to you. I don’t know how to describe it as anything other than a miracle.”

“Those are very hard to come by where I come from.” Clarke stated, crossing her arms over her chest hesitantly. 

Suddenly Gabriel was closing the distance between them, coming up to Clarke’s side and reaching forward with his empty hand. Her entire body tensed as he placed his fingers against the skin right beside the fresh stitches.

“Well, perhaps this might explain it,” He slid the pad of his index finger down her neck, “There was already an insertion in your neck before the prime was placed.”

Clarke sighed and nodded as the realization dawned on her, “Allie. She said something about her presence keeping me alive.” 

Bellamy scoffed in disbelief, “Never thought I’d ever have a reason to thank  _ her _ .” 

Clarke eyed him subtly, a smirk creeping up on her lips.

“So…” Octavia interrupted.

“So, what?” Gabriel asked, his hand falling from Clarke’s neck as he turned towards her.

“So, what are you going to do with it, or… her, I guess.”

Clarke watched his entire body tense.

“I loved her for so long. All I ever wanted was her safety and happiness. We fought, of course. Over and over again. At some point when we were at each other’s throats, she lost her humanity. For a long time I wanted to find her and see if I could bring back the best parts of her- the parts I loved and that loved me. She was… beyond saving.” He smiled sadly, like it still physically pained him to think about it, “I hated her so much for not being able to be saved. Maybe it’s her fault, maybe it’s not. Either way, she doesn’t belong with me. Not anymore. I don’t like the idea of Russel getting her back just to line another innocent girl up for death, but… if she can get you peace, then you shall have her. The woman I fell in love with would want something good to come out of this. So would I.” 

Gabriel took Clarkes hand in his and flipped it so her palm was open and facing up. He gently dropped the chip into her hand and proceeded to curl her fingers over the plastic shell. 

“Now get her out of here before I change my mind and want to kill her for good.” 

Bellamy and Clarke didn’t need to be told twice. They both turned, moving towards the door with urgency. 

Clarke almost stumbled into his back when he stopped short.

“Wait.” He turned around, eyeing his sister, “Come with us.” 

She raised her brows in surprise, “What?”

“Come with us.” He repeated, leaving Clarke to swivel around in the spot she was in as he moved towards his sister, “I know everything is screwed up beyond belief between us, but… I still miss you. I miss my sister.”

The skin just below her waterlines was suddenly wet, and Octavia shook her head slightly as tears cut paths down her pale cheeks. It wasn’t a denial- more of a gesture that showed her deep disbelief. 

“Please.” He stated one last time, eyebrows furrowed. 

Octavia stood still for one more moment before leaping into Bellamy’s arms, holding him so tight they both  _ had _ to be losing circulation. 

“I missed you, too.” She whimpered. 

Her eyes were scrunched closed at first, but after a few seconds passed, she opened them wide and her irises met Clarke’s dead on over Bellamy’s shoulder. Without letting go of her brother, she nodded softly at Clarke. It didn’t say anything specifically, but it felt right. Clarke nodded back with a small smile.

“Okay.” Bellamy stated with a shaky voice, releasing Octavia and moving back towards the door, eyeing Clarke with a smile. 

“After you.” 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Octavia was the first to fall asleep. It took almost an hour for her eyelids to cease fluttering, but eventually they did and she drifted off. Bellamy watched her intently. 

He studied the way the hardened lines of her face faded away when she was unconscious. She looked so young again, so innocent. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

He turned around at the inquiry, watching Clarke shuffle on her knees towards him from where she was supposedly sleeping too. There were darkening bags under her blue eyes, the tiredness etched into her expression. 

She didn’t stop moving until she was right next to him. She fell down onto her butt, jutting her legs out in front of her and balancing slightly on her hands as she leaned back. 

“Everything,” He sighed, guiding his gaze back to Octavia, “Nothing.” 

Clarke just hummed in acknowledgement before continuing, “She saved me today.” 

Bellamy nodded, but remained silent.

“So did you.” 

He turned to her then, surprised to find her already gazing at him. Their eyes met and his heart started pounding. 

“The first thing I do when I get control is endanger someone I care about. Classic Clarke Griffin, huh?” Clarke whispered so softly it was almost inaudible. 

Bellamy shook his head and reached out to place his hand over hers, spreading his fingers so their prints overlapped, “The first thing you did when you got control was give us both a chance to survive.  _ That’s  _ classic Clarke Griffin.” 

Tears clung to the whites of her eyes as she whispered, “Thank you, Bellamy.”

“You already said that.”

“No.” Her voice cracked as she looked deeply into his eyes and spoke with the utmost authenticity. “Thank you for not letting me die.” 

He faltered under her gaze, his clear eyes suddenly clouded with a medley of emotions.

“You did hear.”

“I did.”

“Clarke, there’s something I wanted to tell you then, I just… I didn’t want Josephine to hear it too. Even if you could hear me, it wasn’t for her ears.” 

“What is it?”

He kept his gaze locked to hers despite the sick feeling in his gut and the goosebumps rising all over his body. His breaths suddenly felt like fire, and blood was pumping at a sonic volume in his ears. There was no going back now. No more distractions.

“Clarke,” He sighed, raising his brows and despite speaking slowly, stuttering over the words, “I… I lov-”

Before he could finish the sentence that’d been weighing on him for years, his lips were being covered by hers. He couldn’t even move. He stood frozen as she pulled away slightly and then pressed their mouths together again, their lips weaving each other perfectly. After what felt like the longest five seconds of his life, Bellamy leaned into the kiss. 

It all slammed into him at once.

He practically stumbled backwards with the sheer force of it. Every memory, every dream, every time he said her name- they all coursed through him, one at a time taking on an entirely new light. How could he not have seen it before?

For his entire life he lived for one purpose: to protect his sister. But after months of endless parties and threesomes on the ground, he found himself longing for more. He longed to have someone beside him that he didn’t just have to protect, but could lean on, and count on, and love. Someone that was there for his heart, not his abs. Someone that could shoulder some of the burden. He’d been searching for it for so long that he didn’t even realize it was right beside him the entire time.

He thinks it may have started the first time he thought she was truly dead. 

Monty was the first one to even attempt consoling him after they left her to die in a wave of unbridled radiation. Bellamy remembered how he pulled him tight to his chest and clung onto his shoulder as he held him. Bellamy didn’t cry and barely even spoke, but he didn’t try to escape the embrace either. He felt the comfort of shared grief. He closed his eyes and swallowed around the boulder in his throat as Monty went on and on brokenly about how painful it was to lose Jasper. 

“I know what it feels like to lose a best friend, Bellamy. I know how bad it hurts. Just know I am here for you, and we’ll get through this together.”

Bellamy couldn’t hold back from shaking his head, biting his lip as he looked to the floor and argued with every bone in his body, 

“It’s different.” 

He stared Monty in the eyes as his friend asked with disbelief and genuine curiosity,

“How?”

He didn’t have an answer.

They could stand there for months and Bellamy wouldn’t have an answer.

The truth was he could never understand why it felt so different when Jaspar died, than when it was Clarke. For weeks he tried to convince himself there should be no difference. It was irrational.

They were friends.

Leaders, partners, and mentors- but just friends.

There shouldn’t have been a difference.

But there was.

There was, and it was huge. Maybe it started on the night he was planning on abandoning the 100 and taking off- the night they found out Jaha was alive. When Clarke not only saved his life, but made him actually want to live. Maybe it started when Murphy came back into their compound and Bellamy had to watch her get sicker and sicker until she healed. Or maybe it was at the dropship, when he thought the grounders took Clarke and a little piece of his heart went with her.

When he heard her voice on the other end of the call at Mount Weather.

When he watched her mercy kill Finn.

When she said she needed him.

When he left her.

When he saw her again.

Truth was, he didn’t know when it turned into something other than friendship. When she was put above the others. The only thing that mattered was that she was. 

So he curled his hand deep in her hair, and started running the pads of his fingers over her scalp. The initial waves of shock fell off his shoulders, and he was relieved of the heedy weight of doubt and anxiety. It was almost like his body was melting into hers, pulling towards her like a magnet. When she pulled away, all he wanted to do was keep chasing her lips.

“I love you too.” She whispered, bringing her forehead down to rest against his, their breaths mingling.

“So much,” He practically whined as he placed one more small peck to her lips before pulling away slightly again and emphasizing, “so fucking much.” 

Clarke laughed out a sigh of relief and pure bliss as she leaned against his forehead, eyes closed. 

“Please don’t die again,” He laughed, but there was true concern behind the words, “At least not for a while. I need a break.” 

She laughed back, removing her forehead from his and moving to press a soft kiss to his cheek before lowering her head to rest on his shoulder, her body curling to lie beside him. 

“Believe me, I’m not planning on going anywhere.” 

He smiled and leaned back, taking her with him. 

They watched the stars together for hours, Bellamy drawing little circles on her arm with his fingers. 

Right before Bellamy fell asleep he swore he heard a mumble from their dark haired companion. 

“Finally.”

He fell into unconsciousness with a grin on his face.


End file.
